As I begin my search for a website blogger, I think to myself … should I just do it?
Let me give this a try. I mean, how hard can it be? I tell myself, [they] can do it, why can’t I? To persevere through uncertainty and insecurity is an attitude my parents embedded into my psyche long ago. However, I can’t help but think - my grammar sucks [excuse my language] and, not to mention, captivating a global audience through writing is foreign territory. I ask myself … can I use brackets in a blog? Well, I’m doing it.
I scour the web, “blogging for beginners.” I find myself both motivated and determined. However, my insecurities begin to kick in - I am not particularly outgoing, I do not have valuable knowledge or experience to share with an audience, nor do I try new products which I can potentially suggest to my readers. Perhaps my BIGGEST insecurity - I do not know how to write in Punjabi, which would make my writing inaccessible to an older South Asian audience.
I subsequently turn to my sibling for encouragement - I mean, that’s what family is for, right? As I rehearse the message to my siblings, I realize … I am incredibly nervous. Why could this be? Do I lack self-confidence? Am I really that afraid to step outside my comfort zone? Can I captivate an audience through literature?
The truth is … YES - I lack self-confidence. YES - I am afraid to step outside my comfort zone. YES - I am afraid. As I come to this realization, I begin to understand … I am not alone. At one point or another, we are all afraid to venture outside our comfort zone. At this particular moment, finding my voice, and the confidence to write for a global audience is my biggest fear. I guess, this is what makes me who I am … this is what makes me human. My name is Manjot Kaur Pannu - And I must admit, I am in search of my self-confidence.
You would think, being the daughter of Ravinder Singh Pannu, I would radiate self-confidence. I mean, let’s face it … my father has never been afraid to try something new. He has amassed success because he is undeniably charismatic and willfully confidant. Not to mention, the unwavering support he has received from my mother, who, if I must say so myself … is a true Sherni [Yes, I took this term from Navpreet Banga].
To my knowledge, nobody is born with self-confidence. Rather, it is a quality, which manifests overtime … particularly through life experience and personal growth. Let’s understand the fundamentals. According to “Maslow’s hierarchy of needs,” self-esteem is built on mutual respect between the respective parties. My understanding? As human beings, we require psychological stability, safety, love and belonging to develop healthy self-esteem. In turn, we develop self-confidence.
Now, you’re probably thinking … why did she discuss self-esteem, when she began the discussion about self-confidence? I believe; self-confidence and self-esteem are two psychological occurrences,’ which coincide with one another. Both phenomena’s are understood through past experience - As well, both [phenomena’s] take into account action, which affect ones’ attitude towards the future.
A million thoughts cross my mind. I am still nervous. Through the lack of self-confidence, I cannot help but think … will an audience accept my written content? It is such acceptance, which will guide me through this unfamiliar journey.
When my father began his broadcast career, he was a commentator for a 30-minute program with City TV. As a mainstream member of the South Asian community, he found an audience. With an outpour of support from the community, Ravinder Singh Pannu founded the Sur Sagar Network. A staple of South Asian broadcast, Sur Sagar has awarded minorities a platform to showcase their voice through live discussion, entertainment, and informative discussion. The Sur Sagar platform is a legacy my parents have nurtured and built for every individual who walks through our office doors - in spite of religion, culture, caste and creed. I have watched my father prosper - Having established a successful broadcast career did not come without obstacle - all of which he overcame, with my mother by his side. With the support of the community, my father has thrived. It is such support, which make him the man he is today.
As I write, I realize … we all seek acceptance in our own way. Often times, we are too busy trying to please the world, we neglect our own happiness. Digging a little deeper, I recognize, this subsequent neglect parallels the surrender of self-esteem and self-confidence. We constantly second-guess every facet of our life - allowing it to chip away at our self-confidence. Perhaps, it is the forfeit of self-confidence, which ceases our ability to accomplish a dream/vision we once sought to achieve.
I could be wrong. Then again … I could be right.
Every element works hand-in-hand. Through acknowledgement, comes the boost of self-confidence we desperately desire. With the subsequent thirst for acceptance in mind, I wonder … perhaps the acceptance we seek is from ourselves?
When all is said and done, the most important thing to remember is … Believe in you - regardless of the outcome. The bottom line is, no matter what you do in life - there will be those who encourage you, and there will be those who reinforce negativity. Always believe in yourself - just do you boo!
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